Speak up? ...or SHUTTY! ?

I've got a lot of life experience under my belt (as well as more adipose tissue than I would like) and as the years go by, I often find myself amazed at how my perspective on so many things has changed. 

Like what is and isn't appropriate to be spoken out loud.

When I graduated from college I did not attend the large gathering of the entire university... instead I chose to attend only the smaller group from the college of dentistry... it was more personal.  It was so personal that after the official walk across stage and conferring of the degree, my class had a program and dinner together.
Awards were handed out...  awards and "awards". 
I won the "Miss Tell it Like it Is"  "award".  A fairly accurate assessment on what came out of my mouth back then.

I'm still a staunch of supporter of "telling it like it is"  only these days my sincere desire is to "tell the truth in love". 
Sometimes that means keeping my mouth closed.
Sometimes that means having a difficult conversation.

I always ask myself a question before I speak if what I have to say falls under the category of "difficult".
Do I want to say it because it is going to be for the benefit of the person who is going to hear it?  
Or do I want to say it because it's going to make me feel better to get it off my chest? This has been a very good gauge for me to determine whether I should speak what's on my mind concerning another person.

"Don't use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."  Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)  

I like the NIV translation of this verse too... because it emphasizes someone elses benefit, not my own. 
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

A book I read a few years ago, "Fierce Conversations" by Susan Scott,  was very helpful to me.   In it she says  "While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can."
One truly does not know how specific words and conversations will affect someones thinking and in turn, their life... words are powerful. 

The old saying  "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me"  is a big load of crap, straight from the pit of hell.  Careless words hurt people.