perspective

"Many of us have the blessed privilege of being at the same time mother and child, able to let the one interpret the other to us until our understanding of both is full and rich." - Laura Ingalls Wilder

I had a fun telephone conversation with my mom this morning, and I also received a wonderful email from my daughter.  As so often happens, they were both on my mind... and I mused... what an interesting time of my life this is, being both a mom and a daughter. 
When I am with my mom I often find myself feeling like a child again. A longing fills my heart to hear her say "I love you" and give me a hug, and I wish that I could bask in the shadow of her protection, free from responsibility.
But when I am with my daughter, who will always be my little girl no matter how old she is, my heart aches to protect her from pain & suffering.  I want to gather her on my lap, and never let her go.

At the same time I see how my mom could have done more for me, I see also, how much more I could have done for my daughter.  If I notice anything in the attitude of my daughter toward me, that I wish was different, I turn my thoughts and wonder if there is, in my ways toward my own mother, room for improvement? 
I remember that, while I fell short many times in meeting my daughters needs, there was absolutely nothing that I wouldn't have done to insure her well-being and despite my faults, I did the best I knew how at the time.  Much of my best came from the love my mom had for me as I was growing up.

Perhaps her love wasn't shown always in a way that would have been best for me, but it was the best she knew how at the time.  During a recent conversation, my mom said to me that there was not a mother on earth that loved her children more than she did.  Words deep with emotion that struck my heart, not only for the girl in me, but for the mother in me as well.  I often wonder if my daughter understands how much she is loved by me. 
As my daughter has grown into adulthood, no longer am I curious about my mom's concern for her adult daughter!  An appreciation for, and understanding of, her position and feelings toward me continues to be fresh... as I learn how to relate to my daughter as the adult she is.  I trust that in the light of my experience, and in the test of passing years, clarity will continue.

I am a daughter and a mom, and I believe my relationship with each of them is better because of the other.
Yes, it's indeed a blessed season in my life.



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